FREE ESSAY ON NARCISSISM

NARCISSISM

"Is our negative branding of narcissism a defense against a demanding call of the soul to
be loved?"
Thomas Moore - Care of the Soul
Narcissism is the egotistic sense of self-importance, but paradoxically underneath this
attitude, the narcissist is simply a victim of a fragile low self-esteem. It is the
underlying sense of inferiority that is the real problem of the narcissist, and their
pretense is just a disguise used to cover their deeper feelings of inadequacy. Since
narcissists are often incapable of asserting genuine self-meaning, they seek admiration
from others because they desire acceptance and approval (as we all do) but lack the
ability to find any from within.
In looking at the story of Narcissus, I was so inspired by the new translation and
meaning given to it by Thomas Moore. By denying our narcissistic tendencies and by
labeling this part of our shadow as negative, we our only stifling the growth that our
soul desires. The further we push narcissism away from us by disowning it, the more self
consumed we actually become. Narcissus longed to love, and not until he "discovered"
himself was he able to do so. When he was able to clearly see himself in the pool of
water, he than experienced a life transformation. Bob Keagan, as discussed in class,
would better explain that Narcissus was in a state of transition. 
"Narcissism is a condition in which a person does not love himself." (Moore, p 71) In my
own life, self-love was one of the greatest and most valuable lessons learned through
very difficult circumstances. I discovered that the importance of self-acceptance must
first be established from within if I was ever to sincerely receive love from another.
Thomas Moore explains that the greatest "curses" in our lives are actually blessings in
disguise because not until we are in a state of need, do we desire change. I love the
description that Moore gives of Narcissus at the pool. He explains that what is taking
place is a "transforming, and life-threatening, psychotic episode" (Moore, p 59). His
narration is such an accurate depiction of how we all feel while in the state of
transition. As we have discussed in class, we often must become uncomfortable before
growth will occur. 
Although Narcissus discovered the outward appearance of himself, the pool identified the
depth and core of his person. His reflection was much deeper than the surface, and he was
able to see himself for the first time as an "object", and only then was he able to love
himself (Moore, p 63). For me, this was a profound statement because seeing oneself as an
"object" means shifting from an egocentric and shallow mindset to a much deeper and
heartfelt state which is much greater than the surface person we tend to embrace. "Love
of a new image of self leads to new knowledge about oneself and one's potential" (Moore,
p 63). 
Our potential does not create our attitude, but our attitude creates our potential. When
people change their perception of self, then their lives will inevitably display an
outward change as well. Embracing our narcissism simply means that we pay attention and
learn from it. When we display narcissistic behavior, or when we find ourselves offended
by narcissistic people, we must pay close attention to what our soul is telling us. For
if narcissism is an outward display of our lack of inward love, than our soul is merely
seeking to be nourished and needs greater acceptance and approval from within.